Stand Up and Fight

I'm a runner. I started running Cross Country my freshman year in high school, even though I hadn't planned on running until I was at the schedule pick up table at orientations. So you could say it was a split decision. I had an error in the schedule and had to pick a class on the spot, it just so happened that the boys Cross Country coach was there helping me pick. He suggested I run, "Sure." I said. I didn't think it'd be THAT big of a deal, I knew I could handle it. Im a black belt in Taek Won Do, what couldn't I handle? What I didn't know at that time was that it wasn't just a "coincidence". It was what I was supposed to do. It was a battle that was going to make me stronger, and make me lean on God. Even though this story doesn't end in me going to the Olympics (I wasn't exactly the best on the team) it ends in me saying 2 things.

1) You never know. You never know what life is going to throw at you, or what you're going to be challenged with. So be prepared, and be prepared with God. It was God's will for me to run Cross Country, it wasn't mine... but now that I've done it, it was one of the best decisions I've ever commited myself to.
2) Finish what you started.
After waking up every morning I made it a habit to go to practice even when it was raining or even when it was 5:30 in the morning. Whether it was 105 degrees outside or 23 degrees outside... it taught me how strong you have to be to overcome your challenges. This sport was a different kind of sport. It's not about knowing how to run or how to stride, it's about overcoming the pain and really, the misery that always comes with it. It's about knowing that at any second all you have to do to make the pain go away is to just stop... then making the decision to keep going even though this last step may be all you have left. And then, you surprise yourself. As your questioning whether to stop or not, you've already taken 50 more steps. If you could take those 50 steps, you can do the next, and the next, and the next.
Yeah, running is just a sport. But the decision process you're constantly fighting with is life. No one ever said life was easy, no one ever told me Cross Country was easy. Because it's not. It's hard. It's challenging.
So do you do it? Or do you give up?
You do it.
You close your eyes, ask God to help you, and you finish it. Because that's the only way you're going to cross the finish line.
That's the only way you're going to win.
The life challenges God gives us are ment to be won. And with God, all things are possible. For me, my challenge invovled an actual finish line. In reality everyone's battles are different.
So how do you beat them?

"The Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:17-18
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

You stand up with God, and fight.

In His Will.

Dear God,

Thank you. Thank you first off for answering my prayers, and giving my heart the message from you, of what I needed to do. Even though it was far from easy, and even though it gave me temporary heartache I know deep down in me that it was what you wanted me to do. You know me, and you know how much my heart hurts. You know how much I over think things and you know how much I'm willing to overcome in order to stay in the pathway your directing me through. In my head I'm running a race. Yesturday I was at the hardest part of it. The hill. The mile stone. I fought back and forth with myself and at one point I couldn't tell which was up and which was down. My body was exhasted. My eyes were swollen. My heart was throbing. And you kept me standing, you kept me on my feet when I didn't want to keep going. When I prayed for peace, you gave me peace. When I prayed for comfort, you gave me comfort. When I prayed that you would heal me and fill the space in my heart, that empty space no longer cried out in agony. So thank you, for assuring me that I'm where I'm supposed to be. And when my thoughts get carried away in guilt and remorse I tell myself that You are still in control over my life. No matter how crazy and difficult it is right now, your still in control. I know that I am where I need to be in my life. As much as it causes me sadness when I think about how much it's changed, it causes me joy when I remember how much you love me and how much you care about me with all that goes on in my life. Me. The creater of the universe cares about me and what makes me feel sad and broken. But I have faith. And I know that your plans for me are greater than I can imagine right now because you know what is better for me.
So thank you. Thank you answering my prayers.
I already feel stronger, knowing that I'm in your will.
Now I'll be waiting, praying and keeping my eyes and my heart open for the next instructions you give me.

Love, Your Princess

Growing Up

Trust in God.

That's what I keep telling myself. Just trust in Him and He'll lead me where I need to go.

These past few weeks I've been struggling with this feeling, this feeling that's been building up inside of me. Pestering me. A feeling that I felt like I should listen too. Like my life was going to change, I didn't know or have any idea how much it would change, all I knew was that I should be ready.

The feeling continued to grow, until it was no longer a stomach ache but a heart ache. It conqured my thoughts and distracted me from everything.

Right now, I thank God for that feeling he put inside my heart. Even though I didn't understand and even though I doubted that feeling, I'm walking the path that God wants me to walk through.
It was hard, yes. But it was worth it.
And now that I look back at how I handled everything, I'm proud of myself for following my heart, and listening to God. I can physically and mentally feel Him working in my life. And for that, I trust Him with everything I know.